So intermittent fasting yielded little results. I don’t know what the hell I did wrong. I ate within an allotted time….and I was quite disciplined with that time….I was on the move more….I drank gallons of water a day….and the only thing out of it….10 pounds and then a dead cold stop. Since then….a 5 pound weight gain. Aaaaargh. I am bitter about it. Mad at myself about it. Discouraged about it. Not in the damn mood to think about it. Buuuuuuuuut…….
I will say this. All the weight gain…the double chin…has been quite enjoyable as it was happening. A steady stream of family gatherings that served delicious foods, the cold then hot then cold again weather has got me in full on “munchie” mode and sitting on a cozy sofa with my two boys and girl while eating to our hearts delight and watching Netflix from sun-up to sun-down on the weekends has been totally worth it…at least at the time. Then when the husband finally and rarely gets a break from his two full time jobs we treat each other to food cause why not….it’s the best thing to treat each other with. I mean..he’d prefer sex…but come on…..FOOD!! I’ve been a little too comfortable with life. All the down time I use to have at home was spent stressed and worried. Now my days of down time are spent easing into a life of contentment for the most part. Duh, I’m still a worrier by nature. I’m still a Curmudgeon. I’m still going to stress over just about anything in life..cause it’s what I do. But not gonna lie….I’m tired of stressing. I’m tired of caring of what others think. I’m tired of guilt and regret and thinking about what outsiders feel about my husband and myself. I’m tired of feeling guilty that so many people helped us out through our financial struggle and now that we have slowly come out of it we feel bad about taking time to enjoy a few things. And why….because judgment…not from the selfless givers but from others taking notes. I’m done with all that. I’m burned out. We’ve made financial mistakes, we’ve had some downfalls, we’ve even temporarily ruined the credit of someone near and dear to us…..yes….yes we have. Not intentionally…and we fought hard to not allow that happen. But yes…we have. I’m saying it. I’m putting that out there in the universe because I want the release and I’m tired of holding in our shame and fears…but that doesn’t mean that I take things lightly now or I am no longer humble and grateful. It just means that some things are beyond my control. Some things I don’t have answers to. All I can do now is accept, pray about it….and then refocus on how to fix what we broke. Most things are fixable, right?? Most people are forgiving, right?? And what isn’t and who isn’t…..well, that’s when self acceptance and moving on comes in.
And when did this become “Deep Reflections by Meesh”?? I was talking about food and it’s 20 pound stronghold on me….suddenly I’m in my feels over tribulations that plagued my family the past couple of years. Broken record much?? I need to stop before I get into the daunting discussion of people…the shitty ones…and why I can’t stand them.
Purge Purge Purge….and let go!
The holidays are upon us…the weather is nice and mildly cold. Cool…not cold. I live in Texas. We hardly ever get justifiable reasons to bust out the Ugly Ugg boots and fur trimmed hoodies. I mean..I know people that rock boots in our 110 plus degree summers…but hey…I ain’t judging. Okay well I am….but that’s their business not mine. I’m no Vera Wang myself. Back on track….Ugg boots and fur trimmed hoodies. It’s more like very thin leggings with an Abercrombie hoodie that we strip off by mid-day before dying of heatstroke kinda weather. Lost track again. The holidays are upon us and if I don’t get a handle on this weight and do something effective about it…I’m going to pack on even more pounds at the soon approaching Thanksgiving family gathering. Everyone in my family cooks amazing….everyone..so it’s inevitable I’m going to stuff my big fat face.
But enough of all that…part of gaining weight is because I am enjoying the cuddle time in my lovely little home-made library, followed by a mug or two of coffee and follow that with a bowl of candy or treats beside me. (There’s a little bit of sarcasm in that) Yes…it just feels too damn good. I’ve managed to read a lot which is
amazing. When I am depressed or stressed the last thing I do is read. I just can’t get into any stories no matter how good they are. So the fact that I have been a reading beast as of lately doesn’t necessarily mean that I have no worries or stress…it just means that I am learning to let a lot of the ones I can’t control go….like I mentioned earlier. Our family therapist would be so proud. This week I opted for something with some thick skin…something with some power…something with some headstrong advice. I gots some learning to do…
Book of choice…..thun thun thuunnnnn…..
How To Think: A Survival Guide for a World at Odds by Alan Jacobs….cause yeah, this world is spiraling out of control quick. So much chaos in this place. So much dissension and cruelty and unnecessary loss of life, and unhealthy debating, and upheaval. We want good old fashion values and old school way of life back and yet we keep modernizing the world we live in. Cell phones are over a $1000 and there are idiots that actually buy them. So according to Alan Jacobs, we are often times divided by three main things…among many other things…religious conflict, political conflict, and social conflict. We can’t stop fighting each other. We can’t stop asserting our damn opinions where it is not wanted, warranted, or needed. We all want to be right….some of us are hardcore in the belief that they are right…with no substantial reasoning behind it other than coddling and petting their self righteous egos. And according to Alan Jacobs the reason behind it all….WE AS A PEOPLE DON’T THINK. From conception, a tiny little blob began forming within the confines of our noggins called a brain…but unfortunately we don’t utilize that little beast of an organ into our daily lives….not like we should. I quote from a synopsis of the book:
Most of us don’t want to think. Thinking is trouble. Thinking can force us out of familiar, comforting habits, and it can complicate our relationships with like-minded friends. Finally, thinking is slow, and that’s a problem when our habits of consuming information (mostly online) leave us lost in the spin cycle of social media, partisan bickering, and confirmation bias.
It’s a humorous and witty thought provoking food for thought type of read. A fairly light weighted read…(small book.. I was not expecting it to be)….but full of enough depth to keep me going until the last page and not so much that I tired of it halfway through. We all are “sheep” on some level. I mean….I like to think I am a hippie of my generation…never engaging with anyone on anything political and religious….never partaking in all this presidential bullshit….never feeling pressured to co-sign onto some belief that makes me uncomfortable…and I say all that as I have a tab open to my facebook and twitter…while rocking a Stranger Things t-shirt that I just had to have, while also munching on Terra chips because I heard they are a better alternative to regular chips. The point? We all kinda submit to what we think is right. Our obsessions and fangirl/fanboying are justifiable. Our versions of healthy eating are the most researched, tried and true. Why? Cause we googled it dammit!!
This book is basically just a resourceful reminder on how we should think…wait, that sounds a little cult-ish and a bit like I’m trying to sell you a gimmick. Well it’s not MY gimmick. Not throwing anything down your throats…it’s an informative read….that’s it. You can take something from this..or you can waste a few hours on it. “Thinking is an art form”….and we just need to redirect our minds to view things that way. We are not robots and maybe we need that reminder. Again, food for thought…it’s a book that leaves one to ponder on our own little habits and why we are so quick to reach for that bag of healthy snacks, grab that book on How-To, why we don’t question something that our gut tells us is not right but everyone else is doing it so by god I’m doing it too (Except for vaccines…..please vaccinate your babies!!), why we allow other peoples religions to make us feel guilty or defensive about our own beliefs, why we are so obsessed with that t.v show..or want to get the products that actress uses, etc. How To Think is not a How-To on How To Think…it’s more a positive suggestion on why we should open our minds to actually thinking.
Peace, love, and happy readings. I’m now on the hunt for the next book. Something along the lines of: How Not To Think So Much About Food!!!
Thanks as always to the great people over at BloggingForBooks for my fee copy of this book in exchange for an honest review to which I gladly and voluntarily gave.